Bob Murphy

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Inventor of the suit vest in Sheboygan, Wisconsin.  His brother is Pat Murphy.  Lost all of his hair in a windstorm in nineteen aught four.  Married a woman nineteen years old, chopped up, chewed and swallowed a violincello to win a bet, and finally sat in his bedroom all day long counting his money.

Henry Fedrock

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From Belvidere.  Left Belvidere in 1909.  He moved to Albuquerque Colorado, married a woman twenty-eight years old, went bail for his brother-in-law that skipped the country, invented a fingernail file that run by electricity, and yes, later died.  (If  you) woke him up out of a sound sleep, told him something and he'd agree with ya and talk back intelligent as a horse and the minute your back was turned he'd fall right back on the bed again.

Virgil McRoppstitch

Invented the shirt with removable pin-stripes.  He had a kit of special tools to do the job.  He also invented the shirt with removable polka-dots, which required two kits of special tools.

Pete Williamson

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Invented a contraption and died before he had the opportunity to tell the family what it was supposed to be; you can't do anything with it.  Had a brother named Archie.

Clendennin N. McNeen

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From Cincinnati.  Inventor of the circular orange.

Pete Dejectedly

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Lives in Halter, Tennessee. He married a woman 17 years old; he went into the feed and grain business. He also invented a combination comb and buggy whip. Also, partial credit goes to him for helping invent Hyena Grease.

Bob Karl

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Invented a cross between a balloon and a plate of mashed potatoes. Isn't a half-wit and has an idea or two.

Ray Feltcher

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Inventor of the electric toothpick. People were apprehensive to use the device because it went, "jab-jab-jab-jab!" He and Uncle Fletcher used to cut ice together. He married Isabel McFruly. Isabel probably still lives in Sprawl Siding, Michigan. Feltcher died February 14, 1902.

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(((HEAR)))

Caldwell Kline

Inventor of the five pocket washrag in Buffalo, New Jersey during the Spanish-American war.  He is known for being able to light his cigar by rubbing his feet together.