Harry McSpilcher

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Fell off of a piano and all he broke was his shoestring.

Fern Mudstudy

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Plays the piano at the five and dime store.  Born in Sweet Esther, Wisconsin on November 21, 1910. Now from Union Grove. Once married a man 18 years old and moved to Kansas City. Had buck teeth and wore a bonnet that came way down over her forehead and covered her eyebrows; moped around and sighed and smiled wan and feeble and all such crazy droopiness as that.  Went on a sleigh ride with George Greemer.  Referenced.

Vernon Korkell

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Husband of Edith Korkell.  Got his foot stepped on by Howard and was bruised.  He's a meter reader.  Affectionately called "Mr. Husband" by his wife.  Doesn't like Howard and said he should be punished. Uncle Fletcher tells him he looks a great deal like George J. McTrotch of Oklahoma. Gives piano lessons.  Wanted to become a part of the Sewage Worker's Silver Cornet Band.  Also plays the banjo.

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Mis' Bahcol

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Euncie Helfer's piano teacher in 1944.  Says "A person really needs 15 fingers to really execute the selections the way they really should be executed."

Harry McPritchard

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Told Uncle Fletcher that throwing away keys was bad luck.  Could play a piano like a cyclone.  Sat down at a piano once day to play a tune and fell off the bench, choking himself to death by having his knee caught in his necktie.

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(((HEAR)))

Coonie Miller

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"Let the cat out of the bag about how Cliff Dirtshirt got started on the piano."

Otto Heepler

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Man from Sycamore who used to be pretty good on the piano. He made a piano out of corn cob, bailing wire and horse hair. When he was 40, he married a woman who was 36.

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(((HEAR)))

Mis' Snell

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Euncie's piano teacher in 1942.

Harry Bubeck (Tommy Haran)

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Lived in Sycamore. He married a woman 26 years old. He moved to Detroit and changed his name to Tommy Haran and he learned how to play the piano with his hands tied behind his back. As soon as he accomplished that, he joined the police force and earned the reputation for being the worst officer in the city. He was afraid of pickpockets...

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(((HEAR)))

Euncie Helfer

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Daughter of Walter and Bess Helfer. Sade's niece. Plays the piano. Her first piano teacher was Agnes Peterson.  She had only one leg and had to put a flat iron on the loud pedal.  Mis' Peterson was also deaf and had to bite the piano leg to see if Euncie was playing her pieces correctly.  Can play in 5 flats.  Runs her fingernail on the white keys.  Can do hand crossovers.  Hammers on top of the piano with her fists and also lets out an Indian war hoot. At one time, was writing Sade a lot of letters in a scheme to get Sade to stop writing her letters.  Sold Christmas cards to Sade by slyly sending them C.O.D.  Wants to memorize The Great Colorado Train Robbery Scottish piano piece - which is "Full of sharps and flats and big notes and trash."  In 1944, her piano teacher is Mis' Bahcol.  It took a great deal of practice and many months to learn The Great Colorado Train Robbery Scottish song - and it was painful as well, as Euncie broke a thumb and smashed her foot practicing the running her thumb down the keys and stompin' on the loud pedal.  Was down with a cold for 4 days in the waning days of the Summer of 1944.  Has been learning a new piano solo, Facin' the Barkin' Revolvers of Frank and Jese James. This piece allows her to scrape her thumb down the white keys and stomp the loud pedal with both feet.

Cliff Dirtshirt

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From Dixon.  Planning on moving to Baltimore, Delaware. When he gets there, he plans on marrying a girl 31 years old and they will go into the live bait business. As a sideline, he will take on piano pupils as he plays the piano.  Has a brother named Charlie.  Had a cousin that married a girl 16½ years old.  Made a horsehair watch fob.  Took an automobile apart with a hair pin.

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{{{HEAR}}}

Agnes Peterson

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Euncie Helfer's piano teacher in Carberry. Only has one leg and to use a flat iron to press on the piano's loud pedal.  Is deaf and must bite the piano leg to tell is Euncie is playing her piano pieces correctly.